Tuesday, September 25, 2012

** cheese advisory ** don't read this post if you're not drunk **

If it weren't for music, I would've probably killed myself ages ago!


Wednesday, June 06, 2012

So, today, right now actually, Venus is transiting the sun. 
This means Venus is between the Earth and the Sun. If it were big enough, or close enough, we'd have a solar eclipse. 

It's an event that happens in pairs, with a 8 year interval between them. The first one happened in June 2004. It will only happen again in December 2117 and December 2125. 


Monday, May 21, 2012

the free revolution

If it's fake money, don't pay it back. Don't buy houses, don't own stuff: sell everything and apply for as many credit cards as you can. Spend the money, all that you have and all you don't have. If it's fake money, you're not really stealing anything that hasn't been stolen from you before. And as we say in Portugal: a thief that steals from a thief is granted 100years of pardon. Just enough to live free until you die. 

What's your suggestion of a revolution?

Friday, May 18, 2012

Donna Summer died. So did other 151,599 people whose music you didn't listen to.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

the myth of sadim

In a time where people became myths there was a King who turned everything he touched into gold. The tale’s dramatic ending served to educate the people about the punishment of the greedy: Midas eventually starved to death on the account of his enviable power.

Modern times are calling out for legends more than ever. In an age where religion no longer controls society, what undeniable truth can we trust?
Advertising. Because advertising shapes our desires, our aspirations, our fears and passions, our lifestyle and moral codes; advertising shapes us.

And like every religion, it needs gods to be worshiped. And creative directors have taken that upon themselves. Some times – or should I say most times – without having performed any better miracle than sucking up to the right people or being in the right place at the right time.

Occasionally it happens that a CD or a team of them - advertising is obviously a polytheist religion – can also perform amazing miracles, capable of bewildering everything and everyone around them. Not always in a good way.

Today, I’ll recount the fabulous tale of Sadim, a god that turned everything he touched shit – to be exact, Sadim was a collective of gods and demi-gods that functioned like ants in a colony, blindly following the power-pheromone, all trying to become the queen. But, for the sake of argument, they’ll be considered as one entity, a god made of ants who turned all he touched into shit.
‘Sadim’ is simply ‘Midas’ spilled backwards, even though both tales will probably have similar endings as men are equally incapable of surviving on shit as they are on gold.

One day, Sadim was woken from his slumber. "Who dares interrupt my sleep, I was dreaming of the French Riviera, stages and red carpets, gold awards and glass flutes filled with champagne?" He steps outside to see what the rumble is about. And there is it. A shinny fist-size rock. “It’s pure gold” someone said. And they all stared in awe for they had actually never seen gold before.

“What should we do with it?”

“A statue”, some shouted. “A cup, as thick as an elephant’s penis”, others suggested. “Jewellery, never goes old”, said the old, and the young frowned. “What if we glue the gold rock to the sky and use it as a sun?”, two pitched. “Everyone could see it and love it and share it.”

“Good idea” said Sadim. He reached for the rock, a massive 24carats, 25-kilos piece of pure stunning gold to do the throwing himself. “I shall be worshipped as the god of light until the end of times”, he thought. But, as soon as he touched it, the golden rock turned into a pile of putrid faeces, slimy and smelly. And as he threw it high in the air, the shit spread and everyone in Sadim’s Olympus was covered, head to toe, with the light-brown hue of a sick baby’s diarrhea. 

Thursday, May 03, 2012

sorria, você está a ser filmado

Com o correr dos acontecimentos mundiais e o estado francamente deprimente da sociedade hoje em dia, há poucos motivos para sorrir sem ter que tapar os olhos, ouvidos e boca. O que é notoriamente impossível dado que deus só nos deu quatro patas e perdemos duas quando decidimos evoluir para homus erectus. A menos claro que isto já estivesse nos planos do omni-master-of-the-universe, que é para precisarmos de contratar criancinhas miseráveis de lágrima no olho e latinha na mão, vindas da India ou do Bangladesh - África já é meio demodé - a 70cêntimos por dia. E é porque somos justos, porque 70c é o que se paga para elas trabalharem nas minas, que é um trabalho muitos mais duro e consequentemente mais bem pago, mas enfim, somos bons cristãos e cidadãos, por isso vamos fechar os olhos, que assim como assim já estão tapados, não faz diferença.
Livra, mais valia sermos bestas, ignorantes e felizes, preocupados em catar a pulga do vizinho ou cruzar com a fêmea alfa  - nesse aspecto, talvez não tenhamos evoluído assim tanto!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

WHY #1

Why can't men get over playing with balls?
Seriously guys, whether you're compensating touching your own with other sorts or just pretending to be cool and young-at-heart when you're clearly not, it's silly. Ridiculous, even. I mean, grow up.

Can you please get excited by something more... intelectual? Please??